


Need the Sun to Break

by myloveiamthespeedofsound



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe, Cross-posted, F/M, Fireman Steve, Mutual Pining, Non-Linear Narrative, Steve and Natasha are idiots, as usual, based on tumblr prompts, single daddy Steve
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-13
Updated: 2016-10-13
Packaged: 2018-08-22 06:56:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,939
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8276855
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/myloveiamthespeedofsound/pseuds/myloveiamthespeedofsound
Summary: I need the sun to break, you've woken up my heartI'm shaking, all my luck could change. 
Steve Rogers is a young widower who spends most of his time balanced between his job at the FDNY and raising his young daughter, Sarah, with the help of his best friend, Bucky.  Natasha Romanoff is a dancer just trying her best to keep her life afloat.  A chance encounter brings them into each other's life and the pair strike up a quick friendship.  But being just friends is tough when pesky things like feelings start to take a hold.





	1. tell me a secret

**Author's Note:**

> Just a heads up that yes these have been posted before. I just wanted to move them into one fic since this is a universe I will be writing some more in. Thanks guys!

Natasha wasn't necessarily _drunk_ , but she’d had enough wine (thanks to Bucky and his insistence her glass never be empty that night) that driving home wasn't a good idea. The couch though. Well, maybe that was a good idea. But Steve's bed was just so much more comfortable. And besides, they were friends and it wasn't like they were _doing_ anything.  They were just two friends laying in bed with a respectable distance between them and Natasha had the alarm set on her phone and an ungodly early enough of a hour that she'd be gone before Sarah woke to see anything that might raise questions.

Steve shifted and laced his hands behind his head. He was tired, but sleep seemed to elude him, as it did Natasha. He knew full well what Bucky's intentions had been with this little charade. But right then he wasn't really complaining. It was nice. Having someone in the bed with him. Having _Natasha_ in the bed with him.

“Tell me a secret,” she said suddenly as she looked up at him. Her hands were tucked under her chin and he couldn’t help but think that she looked absolutely adorable.

“What kind of secret?” he asked as he looked at her.

She scrunched her face as she thought about it, the expression over the top for show. “Something scandalous,” she answered with what might have been a sultry tone had she not been half laughing while she said it.

“Something scandalous,” he repeated, he trailed off as he mulled it over. “I'm the least scandalous person ever,” he said with a self depreciating laugh. He glanced up at the ceiling and then looked back at her. “You're the first woman I've been in a bed with since my wife, is that scandalous?” he shrugged and immediately regretted the words because lord didn't that make him sound pathetic.

Natasha watched him for a moment, her expression soft.  He wondered how she did that. That little look of _I'm sorry_ without it being _pity._ And how she never let it linger too long, because she knew he wouldn't want it to. 

The corners of her mouth curved upward a moment later and she gave his side a soft smack with her hand. “Okay, A?  That's not scandalous, and I'm fairly certain Bucky already knows so also not a secret. And B?  We need to get you a date.”  She inwardly cringed at the sentiment. Get him a date. God, she was an idiot, especially when the thought of him dating someone filled her with dread.

He watched her as she said it. _We need to get you a date._  He knew he'd bowed out.  That months ago he'd seen the lonely woman and chose _friend_ because that's what they both needed. But it stung none the less. “Date, right,” he recovered quickly. “We’ll get right on that.”  He paused, shifted a little in the bed. “Your turn,” he prompted after a moment.

“My turn, what?” Natasha asked him, a teasing grin on her lips.

“Your turn for a scandalous secret,” he answered and then gave her a smirk. “Don't be a brat.”

Natasha laughed softly before she took a minute to think about it. “Sophomore year,” she started, “I might have been sleeping with my professor.”

She said it lightly, like a joke, but Steve could sense the trepidation behind the words. The worry of judgment.  He shifted down the bed so he was at eye level with her. “Now that's scandalous,” he said in a tone that indicated he found it anything but. He kept her gaze for a minute and then lifted an arm to tug her in closer. “Come on, let's sleep.”


	2. wanna dance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Based on a tumblr prompt - "Wanna dance?"

The wedding had been beautiful, a little bit big for Natasha’s tastes.  But then she supposed that was what happened when one married a man who came from a political family and had eyes on the White House one day.  The ballroom was filled with guests, and Natasha watched with awe as Bucky’s little sister, Rebecca, mingled through it all with ease and never nothing but a warm smile on her face.    
  
She had known Bucky and Steve were close, Natasha had figured it took one hell of a friend to do what Bucky did when he moved in with Steve after his wife’s passing.  Sitting with some of Bucky’s family at the reception made it clear _just_ how close close was though.  The way there seemed to be no difference in the way Winnie Barnes looked at Steve as opposed to Bucky, how George clapped Steve on the back after recounting with pride one of Steve’s more dramatic moments in the FDNY ending with a _he’s a real hero, my boy_ .  How there were just as many stories of Steve in those awkward teen years - every one of them filed away for future blackmail, of course - as there were of Bucky and his sister.  How when Rebecca thanked her family in the bride and groom’s toast, Steve and Sarah were included.  They adored Sarah, and the girl adored them right back - her Nana and Papa.    
  
And as Natasha watched George and Winnie with Steve she realized it didn’t take a hell of a friend to do what Bucky did, it took a _brother._ This was Steve’s family.  The one who had helped him and his Mom when his Dad took off when he was six.  The one that had taken him in when Sarah passed when Steve was fourteen.  The one that helped him bury his wife at twenty five.  The one that had been there through thick and thin.  
  
She was amazed, and warmed, by how quickly the welcome extended to her as well.  Winnie already extending an invitation for Thanksgiving dinner at their house, and taking a genuine interest when she asked Natasha about her history with the New York Ballet Company and now her work as a teacher in the Academy.  It felt nice.  It felt like belonging.  The way a family was _supposed_ to be instead of the fractured mess she had been handed.   
  
“You’re good for him,” Winnie started when she caught Natasha staring at Steve and Sarah on the dancefloor.  Sarah in her pretty little flower girl dress, her feet on her Daddy’s as he spun them around the floor.  It made her _ache_ in some way she had never known.   Deep down in the parts of herself she had long since shut off.  She wanted to tell Winnie she was wrong.  That she wasn’t good for him, she would _never_ be good for him.  She was a mess and this was all she would ever have to offer.  All she could ever be was his friend, the kind he knew would dress up pretty and go to wedding with him so he could avoid the looks of pity he _still_ got as a widower with a young daughter.  
  
“I know, I know,” she continued and raised a hand in truce.  “You’re just friends,” she repeated what Steve had told her multitude of times.  “But it’s still nice, for him to have a friend other than Bucky,” she said with a soft smile at Natasha.  “He hasn’t had that for a while,” she added.  “Between work and Sarah it doesn’t leave much time for him to get out and meet people,” she explained as she laid a hand on Natasha’s.  
  
The song ended and Sarah bounded over to the table to grab her Papa’s hand and dragged him out to the dance floor.   Steve walked over a little bit more leisurely and stopped in front of Natasha and Winnie.  He held his hand out to Natasha and smiled.  “Wanna dance?”    
  
Natasha raised her hand to take his with a smile of her own.  “Sure.”    
  
Steve led her out to the dance floor and spun her with a goofy grin before he tugged her in, a hand moved to the small of her back and hers to his shoulder as their others clasped together.  “I can’t say I’m any good,” Steve warned lightly.  
  
Natasha laughed softly.  “It’s easy,” she assured him as they started to move to the music.  Pressed this close to him she could feel his heart as it hammered against his chest and she convinced herself it was just from spinning Sarah around the floor and not the closeness of the moment.  Though she couldn’t come up with an excuse for her own racing heart.  Or the butterflies in her stomach at the feel of his hand on her back, the way her all but _enveloped_ her with his frame and how it managed to feel safe and warm as opposed to suffocating.  

The song was slow, easy to sway to as opposed to having to actually _dance._ For which Steve was grateful.  He’d never been that good at the whole dancing thing.  But this, well, this he could do.  A gentle movement around the floor with Natasha in his arms.  He tried not to dwell on it, how nice it felt, how _right_ it felt.  He tried not to let his thoughts go down that dangerous path of how well she _fit._ Not just in his arms as they danced, but in his life.    
  
_I need the sun to break, you've woken up my heart_  
I'm shaking, all my luck could change __  
_Been in the dark for weeks and I've realized you're all I need_ __  
__  
The words flowed over Steve and he let his gaze fall downward to meet hers.  “Easy,” he repeated her assurance.  Easy to waltz around the dance floor, easy to hold her in his arms.  Easy to let himself dream that this was more than a dance between friends.  Easy to let himself dream of lazy Sunday mornings with her, to let himself think about leaning in and brushing his lips against hers.  But harder to act on as he held her gaze and the now familiar fears crept up on him.  
  
The _ooh’s_ of the end of the song segued into another.  Something upbeat that Steve recognized as the song Rebecca had gushed about a few years prior.  More guests moved onto the dance floor in groups as the couples started to break apart.  Natasha gently untangled herself from Steve and let her eyes fall to the floor for a moment before she looked up at him with a smile.  “Look at that, you didn’t step on anything,” she teased.    
  
Sarah ran up to them as the song picked up and grabbed their hands.  Natasha grinned and looked at Steve with a small shrug before she laced her free hand through his.  Sarah laughed as Steve and Natasha lifted her up with their hands.  They set her down and started to dance to the song.  The dancefloor was packed with the bride and her friends, other guests, most singing along, but Steve only had eyes for his girls.     
__  
Home, let me come home  
_Home is wherever I'm with you_  
_Home, let me come home_  
_Home is wherever I'm with you_


	3. from very far away

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Based on a the way I said I love you prompt - from very far away.

However cold Natasha had thought New York it paled in comparison to the frigid temperature when she got off a plane in Moscow.  It had been _years_ since she’d been back to Russia in the middle of January and she quickly remembered why.  Although she realized, as she was ushered through the airport by her cousin that it had just been years in general.  Family was a complicated thing for her, resentment from so many sides and for so long that Natasha often wondered if anyone even knew _why_ they were even fighting anymore.  It seemed sad to her that it took a funeral to even get most of them in the same room and as the days passed it was clear that had been a mistake.  Tensions were high through most of the family members, but Natasha stuck to her cousin, the girls falling back easily into the friendship they’d had in their youth.    
  
Of course with that friendship came certain questioning, and Natasha spent most of her first days in the country insisting what she insisted back home.  Just friends.  It was normal, after all, for a woman to have a photo of her and a man and his daughter as her phone’s lock screen.  That was what just friends did.  Just friends felt lost and ungrounded when they realized their friend wasn’t just a quick cab ride away.  Just friends started to feel anxious when two days rolled into three which quickly turned into four and five without talking to the other person - though not for trying, between Steve’s work and the time difference they seemed fated to just miss each other.   _Well then bring him next time and I’ll be more than a friend_ her cousin joked as she had gone through the photos on Natasha’s phone.  Words that immediately brought a knee jerk reaction of _no_ by Natasha.    
  
Day six, her second last day packed to the brim with her family in a house too small to fit all them and everyone’s tempers more than high, and she finally made contact outside of a few texts.  She hadn’t realized just how much she _needed_ it until her phone buzzed with the facetime call.  She excused herself to the bathroom, the only room she knew she would be left alone in and answered.  It was stupid she thought to herself, how she felt almost like crying with relief as Steve and Sarah came up on her screen.  How she suddenly felt _so much better_ as Sarah waved and grinned that huge grin of hers that absolutely lit up the room.    
  
“Nataaaaaaaaaaaaasha!!!” she greeted enthusiastically with a laugh.  Natasha grinned back and blinked rapidly, hoping to cut off the tears that had formed in the corner of her eyes before they had a chance to fall.  She was suddenly struck but such a homesickness then, more so than she’d felt all week.  A _longing_ that went far beyond missing her own bed, her own space, and the bagel place down the street.    
  
“Hey you,” she got out, her voice cracked on the last word.  She prayed neither of them would notice.    
  
“We miss you,” Sarah said from her spot against Steve.  She was clad in pyjamas as they sat on the couch, and Natasha was struck with such a wanting to be there, to tuck Sarah in like she would the evenings she spent at the apartment.  To read another chapter of their book and snuggle in the tiny twin bed.    
  
“I miss you guys, too,” she answered and she let her gaze flicker to Steve.  He smiled at her, and her heart raced.  “You’re being good?” she asked Sarah as she looked back to the girl.  
  
“Uh-huh,” Sarah affirmed though Steve chuckled a little.  Natasha laughed softly at the exchange.    
  
“Are you coming home soon?” Sarah asked and Natasha almost lost her very fragile hold on her emotions.   _Home._    
  
She bit her lower lip and nodded.  “Couple more days, Solnyshko,” she answered.  “Sunday,” she added.   Steve hadn’t been able to take her for her flight out, Wanda had dropped her off, but they’d made plans to pick her up.  Natasha felt almost giddy with the idea of seeing them there, of being able to get off the plane and have Sarah run up to her, of Steve pulling her into some giant bear hug that she’d joke was too tight but really it could never be tight enough.    
  
Sarah nodded and then Steve took the phone from her.  “Go brush your teeth for bed?” he instructed Sarah and she waved goodbye to Natasha before she slid off the couch.  Natasha hopped up on the bathroom counter as Steve moved around so he was in the frame.  “Hey,” he said quietly.    
  
“Hi,” Natasha replied.  She glanced down for a moment and blinked hard again before she looked back to the phone.  God she missed him she realized.  Missed being on that couch with him, watching movies or playing some stupid card game with Bucky, missed being _home._  
  
“It going okay over there?” he asked gently.  Natasha had never been super open about her past and her family, but she had let enough out that he knew it wasn’t the best of histories.    
  
She shrugged a little.  “It’s about what I expected,” she answered.  “I think everyone’s more than ready to go back to ignoring each other for a few years again,” she added with a small attempt at a laugh.    
  
“And you?” Steve asked, concerned.  
  
She pressed her lips into a tight smile.  “I’m cold and ready to come home,” she replied honestly.  She held his gaze and he smiled a little at the sentiment.  
  
“You’ll be back before you know,” he assured her.  They settled into a silence as they looked at each other and Natasha wanted _so badly_ to be able to touch him right then.  “Natasha… I…” Steve started but a _Daddy!_ from the bathroom interrupted him and he laughed as he turned to look down the hall.  
  
“Daddy I dropped my water,” Sarah shouted from the bathroom.  
  
Natasha couldn’t help but laugh a little as Steve looked back at her sheepishly.  “Sorry,” he started.  “I should - go - but I miss you and I’ll see you soon.”  
  
Natasha nodded.  “I miss you too, Steve, tell Sarah I say goodnight,” she said and they smiled at each other before Steve ended the call.  Natasha stared at the screen for a moment.  “I miss you,” she repeated softly in the quiet of the bathroom.  She let out a breath as a few of the tears she’d been fighting back the whole call slid down her face.  “I miss you and I love you.”


	4. “YOU DID WHAT?!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Based on a tumblr prompt - “YOU DID WHAT?!”

_YOU DID WHAT?!_  Was what she _wanted_ to say.  Was what her heart shouted the moment _I asked Sharon out_ left Steve’s lips.  The initial, gut wrenching, reaction to what she had all but told him to do in the first place.   _YOU DID WHAT?!_  It screamed from the back of her mind, _ached_ to be spoken and thrown in his face.  Followed shortly by _why_ and a million other thoughts she didn’t know how to say. 

 _Can’t you tell that I’m completely and stupidly  in love with you.  All of you.  The way you never seem to have a clean shirt to your name, the way you love your kid more than_ **_any damn thing_ ** _in this world, the way you make me laugh when everything else in my life is completely falling apart, the way you make me want to be a better person, one who knows how to cook and who won’t set fire to their kitchen making a frozen pizza.  The way you look at me when you think I’m not looking, the way you make me_ **_want_ ** _again.  The way you cheat at Risk and think you’re getting away with it.  The way you insist on singing along, badly, to every song on the radio._   _The way you make me feel safe, the way everything has made so much more sense since the moment I met you._   
  
But she hadn’t told him that _._ Because she was an idiot.   An idiot who hated her own happiness and wanted to spend her days pining after her best friend and being jealous of tall, leggy, blondes named Sharon who probably hated bread and loved everything Pumpkin Spice.   
  
She steeled her expression into a smile.   _Be happy_ .  “That’s great, Steve,” she said and prayed it didn’t come off with _too_ much fake enthusiasm.  “So you, what, asked me over here to brag?” she asked with a light jab of her elbow to his ribs.   _Be happy._ She repeated it like a mantra.  Steve should be happy, he should have some nice girl to make him feel special.  He deserved that - and he deserved it in someone who would be a hell of a lot better of a girlfriend than she ever could.  If that happened to be Sharon - _Sharon, she’s an old friend; I almost asked out before I met my wife, she’s a lawyer now, divorced; we ran into each other at the store and she’s just moved back to the city_ \- well, she’d deal.  Even if she would _hate every single minute of it_ . After all hadn’t she, when Steve had mentioned running into Sharon said nothing but _she seems nice, you should ask her for coffee._  She couldn’t hold it against him that he had followed her shitty advice.

  
“Well… no…” Steve started and raked a hand through his short hair with a sheepish look.  “I was kind of hoping you could watch Sarah for a little while?  Bucky’s out and Sharon wanted to meet up right away,” he asked.  

  
“You’re going out on the date _now?_ ” Natasha asked and for the love of God she hoped her voice didn’t rise as much as she thought it did on that last part.     
  
Steve looked at her and held her gaze for a moment.  It was then that she noticed.  His face was freshly shaven, his shirt lacked the general rumpledness he usually had as a single Dad who worked terrible hours, his hair had product in it, and he wore the shoes she’d only seen him wear one other time - to Bucky’s little sister's’ wedding.   _He was going on a date._  And she wanted to puke.  

_Tell him_ , she thought.  Just _tell him_ before it’s too late. Tell him before Sharon ends up being lovely and funny and amazing and someone he realized he can’t live without.   He held her gaze, almost expectantly.  Like _he knew_ and he _wanted her to say it_ .  She licked her lips and opened her mouth to speak.   
  
“Nat!” came Sarah’s excited cry as she bounded over to the front door and she wrapped her arms around Natasha’s leg.  Effectively killing whatever moment they might have been having.  

Natasha leaned down and picked up the girl, settled her on her hip and gave her a grin.   “Looks like you’re stuck with me tonight, Solnyshko.”  
  
Sarah grinned brightly at the idea and then looked at Steve.  “Daddy looks nice, doesn’t he?” she asked and wiggled out of Natasha’s grip.  “Can we dance?” she asked and when Natasha nodded she ran into her room to get the slippers and leotard Natasha had bought for her.    
  
“You do,” Natasha said after a moment when she looked back at Steve.  “Look nice,” she finished and smiled softly.  He _always_ looked nice, but he cleaned up well.   She reached a hand up and brushed a spot of lint off his shirt.  Her hand lingered and she dropped it when Steve cleared his throat.    
  
“I should…” he trailed off as he caught her eye.  “Go.”  They stood, a charged silence between them, and after a moment Steve turned to grab his wallet and keys.  “Call if you need anything,” he said and looked back to her as he started out the door.  “And thanks.  I owe you one,” he offered with a smile and then walked out of the apartment.   
  
Natasha shut the door behind him and let her head bang against it a few times.  “Stupid, stupid, stupid,” she muttered under her breath.  A buzz in her pocket pulled her attention and she grabbed her phone to see a message from Wanda.  
  
_I need tequila.  Happy hour at Telegraph?  I’m buying._   
  
Natasha sighed and typed out a quick reply.    
  
_Can’t, told Steve I’d watch Sarah for him while he went out on a date._ _  
___  
A moment passed, her phone buzzed again.  
  
YOU DID WHAT?!    



End file.
